today’s Thursday weather
The me of me today:
I have given notice to move from the room I am renting, to be out by October 22. As was the case some five and a half months ago – when my then-wife Susan asked me for a divorce and said I needed to move out – I face directly ahead the reality of no known address.
I have made this decision for the following reasons: (a) I pay an exorbitant amount of rent for a room in which the internet/wifi works and doesn’t work whimsically. It has been off much of the last three days, many days of the two and a half months I’ve lived here. (b) The room I rent is periodically taken over by ants. Lone lines of endless ants, which have been everywhere in my room. The last four days by my bed. The first thing I do nearly every day – before I get on my knees to ask for help and to have a grateful heart, before I sit in meditation – is turn on the flashlight on my phone and slowly walk through the room to see if there will be any lines of ants on which I will be kneeling or sitting. (c) The amount of alcohol and 420 use in the house, and often directly in front of me, has simply become too much. I’m reminded by friends of the saying, “You hang around in a barbershop long enough, you’re going to get a haircut.”
Today’s weather includes not being able to post for a room on Craigslist, which is how I found this one. Every post I try to put up is immediately ‘flagged’ and removed. This could be the Universe detouring me to a more interesting route of inquiry and personal advocacy. Or someone out to get me. I don’t know.
I have received a notice from the California DMV that my newly achieved and paid-for vehicle registration will be suspended October 8. For lack of insurance. As I have insurance, and have pointed it out including during the registration process, I’ve learned this week my ‘Oregon’ insurance doesn’t count (Nation-wide company).
I’m back on cholesterol medication.
This is some of today’s weather, much of it clearly needing my right-away and ongoing focused attention. Also part of my weather today is the wonderful opportunity I’m getting to be of service with the San Marcos kids. The fact I’ve had the chance to learn how to boogie through the ocean on a board. A fabulous beach-bum existence. The weather is stunningly beautiful. I have met a few people who pretty clearly like and respect me.
Also, I remain heart-broken and here-and-there weepy with the loss of my marriage and no longer getting to be with my best friend, my soulmate. I’m so grateful I got my wedding ring back. It matters to me.
So – If any of this sounds like I’m whining and complaining to you, then I have not written well, I haven’t made myself clear. Back on January 22nd of this year, a Friday, I made a vow that I would post daily, Monday through Friday, in this ‘Couch Surfing’ Blog. I have not missed one day. I said on that Friday my posts would be a report, for any particular day, of how I was feeling on the inside, and what was going on in my life – both inside and out. That is all today’s post is. These are many of the facts I woke to this Thursday. Now it’s time for breakfast.
P.S. – I would much prefer not being told I’m an idiot (asshole) for giving notice to leave where I live without having another place to go. Like, how many times do you get to roll those dice? If, however, you can’t help yourself and just are bursting to call me a complete moron, this will be my default response to you – and to anyone else going forward:
c i g f d
(Cause I’m gonna fucking drink).