A Saturday Send-off

04/11/2020 9 By BuddyCushman

4/11 I woke dizzy this morning – quite dizzy. Trouble walking in a straight line, the listing-like travel of a rowboat on choppy water. Back, forth. Of course I am hoping this is not Covid related. That would suck. While I do not remember reading dizziness as one of the initial indicators of the virus, who knows. I suppose you can ask that about pretty much everything these days – who knows? The dizzy thing, though, is a tad scary and as I do most of my writing down here in the cellar I had to hold on real tight getting to the keyboard a few minutes ago. I would like to blame the dizziness on too much Twitter time yesterday, which behavior would almost deserve some physiological malady, but in fact my experience in that particular black hole yesterday was brief – much less than usual. So it is not that. Though while on Twitter briefly Friday I came across a notice that the City Lights Book Store in San Francisco had started a gofundme campaign as they found themselves (along, likely, with most small businesses on the planet) in dire straits re: paying the electric bill and the garbage pick-up, paying employee salaries within the financial context of virtually no business/sales, paying employee health benefits – you get it. Now, in the scheme of things, sending money off to a North Beach book store in San Francisco might feel, say, frivolous, when that money could be sent to nurses, and Trader Joe’s workers, for more efficient PPE (new initials we know) and warehouse workers and strawberry pickers and cops and navy men and women on aircraft carriers and all sorts of other people in work situations recently elevated in the awareness of their importance, I mean come on, a book store? But City Lights has a very special place in my heart and soul, and those other folks are getting deserved righteous attention, and here’s another bottom line – My wife Susan has let me know, in on and off discussions around the house and out in the yard, that she has been sending off donations of various sums of money every day since we have been in this planet crisis. She ain’t rich though in a better daily life position than so many, and never mind Susan is the kind of woman/human/angel who feels we owe it to love and support and care for each other, that that is like one of the first things you ought to be doing if and when you find yourself lucky enough to wake and slip out of bed for one more day. She’s been sending off her monies to places more like the worthy list I noted above, and in her giving she – once again – has served to inspire her raggedy, today-dizzy husband, meaning that I saw the notice that City Lights was at risk and so I hauled out the credit card and made a small donation, not much, but okay for me, especially when you recall the Jesus stories (if that is a cat you believe in) about the rich giving a lot and the poor giving a little but the percent the poor was giving was so much more, so I only gave twenty-five bucks to City Lights but it was a not insignificant sum in my financial realities, and further, and this was pre-dizzy (which, it makes me even dizzier when I look up to hit the “save” button) when I decided I was also going to send two tens and a finsky to the Iron Freedom Foundation as well, which I went ahead and did, $50 donated one day a fair chunk of the social security deposit – pointing out here that it might not be much but I got the deposit this month, way more than so many people without paychecks can say as they await the government’s “Rescue” – here conjuring up melodies of Fontella Bass’s “Rescue Me” and the Stones’ “Emotional Rescue” and likely others though it’s making me dizzy (er) trying to think of them. My son Cameron, a six-year Army veteran, plays a big part in the ongoing work of the Iron Freedom Foundation, which I am too dizzy to explain here and now so please Google it, and I also encourage you to Google the City Lights Bookstore, which if you give a rat’s ass about free speech ought to be way up there on the help keep them going by all means agenda. Meanwhile, this now is early Saturday morning and I am dizzy. I have already completed a bunch of my morning rituals and will in a moment take on those remaining. I’ve had coffee and I will have more and I look forward to a big day of doing laundry and watching a movie with my son Spenser. I say this conscious of we have a house to do that in, and a TV on, and how many don’t, so it is said with more than a sliver of gratitude and wonder even. (“Suicide Squad”, never seen it.)

This dizzy thing? I don’t know what to say about it. I’m not coughing, I do not have a temperature. I’m 71 years old and it is quite possible dizziness is simply part of that deal. Don’t worry about me – there’s concern enough to go around where more is needed. Dizziness got me down here early to stare directly at the keyboard and type. But I think it is the act of giving which shines brightly as to what is important here. In this post. So, this is my Saturday send-off to you. Give somebody some love. Whatever that looks like. To Whomever. Even just a smidge. The planet needs it. Now, I’m just going to cue up some Tommy Roe and stumble around down here in the cobwebs maybe just a while.