and my friends have lost their way

I have come to believe that a most important benefit of my meditation practice is quieting enough to see my mind at work. How it’s working right then, how one thought directly opens and another falls out. Sometimes – I get to see – consecutive thoughts which would be considered in any analytical, logical, everyday sense wildly disconnected. It’s interesting.

I also believe that my level of devotion to sitting – to what I know as zazen – daily, early every morning, some days at other times during the day, has allowed my mind’s eye to view my mind at work at other times of the day as well. It happened driving home from the meditation meeting in Ocean Beach last night – on a drive through dense fog, and parking my car and walking out into the fogged street. Hearing what I was thinking. Seeing what I was thinking. Seeing how I was being. Hearing how I was being.

Having behaviors before thinking about those behaviors. Like with my current job search, which is offering up a ‘guerilla theater’ experience for me. An entertainment. Receiving “We are moving on from your candidacy” replies and thinking, “Thank you. Thank you so much.” Even while I won’t spend 15 dollars on a book I want, or $13 for a burrito.