both sides now

From Susan Murphy, “A Fire Runs Through All Things” – “But of course it’s a joy tinged with grief that learns to face this grievously mixed world as it is. Zen praises the value of the ‘hazy moon of enlightenment’ that not merely tolerates but embraces the crazed, sad, dreamy, fogged, painful faces of humanity. Joy and grief are intimates; both live at the ground level of the passions held in the human heart.”

Here’s a small example: A young woman lives with her partner in Massachusetts. They move to LA, and following his work, move to San Diego. After a while he says this isn’t for him, and leaves her. She turns to a friend also living in San Diego and begins meeting with him to – in her words – process her feelings of grief, and how she fits in. Some Talking Heads, “How did I get here?”

This goes on for a while and one day the listening friend’s fiance says she is leaving him, and she does. Unexpectedly, the processing of lost love and grief becomes a two-way street. Tell me your sad story, I’ll tell you mine. But wait. As heartache often does, a new door opens. Within the both-sides supportive listening, the young woman and her young friend realize they have fallen in love. They’re together today.

“Joy and grief are intimates; both live at the ground level of the passions held in the human heart.”