fumbler in the Dell

08/20/2021 1 By BuddyCushman

Not much to say here late on this Thursday afternoon. I did jump into the Pacific and get pushed and pulled around and about some by serious wave action. The salt water experience was a highlight of the day. This post is being created on my new Dell computer, me finally unplugging the Lenovo which has served me well some eight years and on which I have written all of my eight books and who knows how many love letters to my (ex) wife. And other cool stuff. But crashing with ‘fatal error’ messages became more and more a way of life and I received good advice to “pull the trigger” and buy the new one – part of my honoring of the golden gifts I’ve received from the generous among you these last four desperately wild and broken-hearted months. And since I’m writing this I obviously was able to figure out how to plug it in and turn it on, but pretty much everything else associated with the experience so far has been angst and minor stress and tiny curse words, and all I can do here right after five is keep the faith and believe over time I’ll begin to find the webby places and spaces I frequent often, and the tools I’ve used as a creator. Like I heard at a Red Sox game one time – even a blind squirrel will find an acorn now and then.

There have been other highs and other disappointments in the last 24 hours, blessings received and emotional tests put to. I’m slowly reading Pema Chodron’s “When Things Fall Apart” which I went to get at the library last Friday, even though I didn’t know that when I walked in. Its relevance to my life today – exactly this time in my life – is shocking. And an amazing gift. And at the library today I dropped off my California ballot to keep Newsom in Sacramento and picked up five art books I’d placed on hold, and a DVD of “The Guardians of the Galaxy.”

Pema Chodron writes a lot about “maitri”, loving kindness for yourself. And Rocket, one of the Guardians, says “There ain’t nobody like me but me.” They both feel incredibly relevant here in Encinitas these days, where at least I get to take the good counsel of the Universe and go jump in an ocean.