help

I found myself talking about my divorce last night in the meditation meeting. In response to the leader’s story of a recent break-up. Shortly after hearing the word ‘divorce’ a morning almost three years ago, I wandered out into that day’s sunshine on Portland streets, my walking aimlessly view streaked with tears, and after a while called my friend Gavin in Oakland – badly in need of something like help. Something.

Gavin spent a long time with me on the phone that morning – and each day for the next two months, an “I’ve got you.” – and one of the things he said that day was to quote from the movie “Almost Famous”, Crawdaddy’s Lester Bangs quoting to the aspiring writer kid, quoting from Goethe – “Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.”

I took a piece of paper and wrote the “Be bold” thing down when I got back to the home I would be shoo’d out of soon enough, and I placed it at the foot of the computer monitor so I could see it every day. I’m looking at it right this very moment. “Mighty forces.”

This all came up, me coming to the screen absolutely blank of blogging ideas 15 minutes ago, hearing a friend’s pain last night. And my reality of asking for and receiving help.