Kind of How it Goes
A couple of weeks ago a friend named Eric stopped by the house. He lives up near Seattle and was down in Portland for the weekend. Talking on the phone a week or so earlier he was describing a room he’d rented in a house under construction – the floors were torn up, he was walking on rough flooring and bare boards, and I’d suggested a couple of cheap rugs on Craigslist. Eric ran with that suggestion and told me, subsequently, the place was looking better. You could say homier. Now, he said, it’s just those blank walls. And I said, Dude, I have about 1239 unsold paintings, most for years now, and they are stacked up and tacked up and otherwise littering my wife’s studio space and stop over when you are in Portland next weekend and I will give you two or three long-term loaners, not to say that I’m a Picasso or Park or de Kooning or anything, but still, colors on the wall. Which was why we were walking in the studio two Saturdays ago.
Eric looked around as I pulled paintings out of corners and off the floor, laying one canvas after another on a cleared-off table space, pointing out all those available on three walls of the old garage, look here’s a box filled with more, and eventually he quite definitely said these are the two I’d like. A couple of abstracts. You can see them, along with Eric, in the photo.
Now, I’d made some moaning noise while unlocking and walking in the studio door that so many of my paintings had originally been priced at $100, $200, even $300, but most had been dropped to twenty-five bucks long ago and I wasn’t even able to give them away. So I was thrilled he was going to take a couple, knowing they’d be up on a wall somewhere else, and appreciated. Which is the goal. Make art, share art. It was a genuine surprise, then, when I turned and saw Eric taking money from a wallet that had materialized in his hand and dropping it on the table – two twenties and two fives.
I immediately said no way, these are loaners, this was never a sales pitch. But he said he wanted to do it, he was making more than enough money and this back and forth lasted about 30 seconds until, okay, I’ll take this money if you let me give you seven of my greeting cards – did you know I have my own greeting cards? – and he said he didn’t usually mail cards but it would be nice to mail one back to his mother in Detroit, she’d like that. So I led him over to the house and down into the basement and spilled a whole bunch of cards out on the ping pong table and he chose the seven he wanted and then I glanced at the ceiling-high piles of my unsold books and said something like maybe your girlfriend would like a book of poetry and decided on ‘Dictation from the Backyard’. When we were back outside he told me he liked poetry, which I had no clue, and was going to keep it for himself.
Now, there is a point to this story, actually a passageway into a more expansive idea. Because – after I had helped Eric bring the two paintings and the seven greeting cards and the book of poetry to his car and thanked him and said it was great to hang out and watched him drive away, on my way back into the yard I realized I had sent him off with $85 worth of my creativity – 2 paintings @25, 7 cards @25, ‘Dictation’ @10 – sure, my costs for the canvas and paint and formatting and cover and printing was more in the $40-50 range – but the cool thing here – the really cool thing – was that my creative and artistic efforts had been sprung from piles of inertia and dust and were on their way out into the world. Making a room a little brighter, swelling a mom’s heart with love and pride, for all I know inspiring a brand new poem of its own. Like we like to say, those of us intellectuals giants — Cool Beans!!
I have hung my paintings in a whole bunch of coffee shops and restaurants in Portland and the greater area and have never once been paid to do so. But on occasion – a ‘Truro Sunset” from the Blue Scorcher in Astoria, a ‘Wareham Little Harbor’ from the Academy Theater lobby in Portland, others here and there – my art has traveled to someone’s home, and I have been paid for it. And I have read my poems from print-out sheets at my favorite coffee shop’s Thursday night open mikes, not only for free but simply thrilled with the chance to read my own words, to make art and share art. And after one reading a man stopped me and asked if I had a book for sale and when I returned with it the next week he dropped a $20 for an $8 ‘Minor Revelations’ and refused any change and since I had two copies with me I gave him both, insisted, and he said he’d give one away. And then there was the all too brief vacation my wife Susan and I had to a VRBO apartment in Ocean Beach, San Diego in July, and the homeowner had a bunch of books available for guests and when we left I placed a copy of ‘There Were Elms’ on the kitchen counter as a way of saying thank you, again, for such a wonderful stay, and two weeks later I had two books sales register on Amazon, and my wife received a text from Silka in OB – “I loved Buddy’s poems and have purchased copies for friends.” I could go on. Sure, I’d love to make back money I’ve lost on every artistic endeavor I’ve taken – music CD, a gazillion paintings, five books. But, writing this, financial equity doesn’t seem to be the point.
What’s the point? Hmmm – make art, share art. Do what I have come to believe is perhaps our most precious obligation to the planet and those crawling upon it. Share ourselves as only we can, our unique gifts, and in so doing just maybe help all of us get through another day, a smidge better off.
Yeah – that.
Thank you for subscribing to this Blog. I value your time and am trying to and will continue to write stories as well as I can. Stories that, hopefully, add a little value to your day. I hope you will leave a comment if anything in this post nudged a memory or thought for you. Or a previous post. And please remember to check back later. I leave a thoughtful reply to every comment a post receives.
I suppose i see the journey as the important part…the love and joy and purpose you felt while creating your art. I love the art I’ve bought from you and Marie and Susan. Each piece is special to me and makes my house a home. However, everytime i have created something i remember with gratitude the actual time i spent creating. Creating is very therapeutic and great fun! You probably don’t know this but i spent a long time (perhaps a year) creating a zine on cloth diapers. A niche market for sure. LOL. I’m very proud of it, but it’s somewhat out of date now, and i haven’t had time for a revision. Sometimes i drop one off in one of those little libraries around Portland, the cute little libraries people have in front of their houses. I haven’t had much feedback on that little zine but I still think it was worthwhile and I still had a great time creating it. It makes me happy. Your art makes me happy too! So here’s to the journey! I hope we can get together soon so I can get my hands on a couple of those books of yours. 😃
Again I thank you for taking the time to comment Joyce. I am always most interested to hear what you have to say. Also, you were the first person I learned about zines from, you mentioned them to me years ago, and I have found “Zines” on some of my Brainstorm lists, say “How to stretch myself”. Creating a zine is something very close to my plotting heart right now. If it works we could catch a coffee sometime, I’d bring along my books at a massive discount, and maybe we could brainstorm with my magic tools of a blank notebook and a blue medium Bic pen and teleport an amazing Zine possibility into existence. Let me know.
I’d love to figure out when we can grab some coffee and brainstorm, Buddy. I’ll bring you my zines and some others. It’s a fun medium – very grassroots. I’ll pm you.
Looking forward to it.
Hello dear friend! That was an amazing Saturday spent with you Buddy. Thank you for inviting me into your home and introducing me to your family. You’re a man of many talents however more importantly, a heart of gold! Byt, the art looks great on the walls and everytime I look at them, I think of a caring man, a friend and a person who can help me with life’s problems anytime they arise. Thank you for being you Buddy!
Thanks Eric, and for finding the time to read the Blog and make a comment. I cannot even imagine how busy/tired you are. Please send me a photo of the art on the wall, I’d love to see it and maybe I’ll include it in a flash post down the road.
My man…in the park home run @ Fenway!!!, thats what happens when one keeps getting in the batters box and swinging!
Great story.
Gotta get back up to bat now too.
Thanks fo the inspiration manG.
Thanks Keith. Your influence on my life has been nothing short of dramatic, way more than you know or can guess. The very first post in this Blog – Dating My Wife – likely never gets written because it likely never happens that way without a most liberating phone call from you back in 2011 – “See abundance everywhere. Take the leap.”
I heard something this morning at the Unitarian Church that this blog made me think of. They said “We are either moving towards love or away from it”. The other thing was “believe Love is real and then act in your behavior as if it is”. You and the art you put out in the world does both of these things. It moves you and us towards Love and makes it real. That is why I have your painting up in my dining room. It reminds me of the Love in the world. Thank you my friend.
Such a lovely reply, poetic, honest. Talk about giving back to the world, moving toward love. Your picture’s in the dictionary next to that very sentiment. I am so happy you follow my scribblings here and even more grateful you took a few minutes to share your experience with us all. Plus, and this is no little thing, you are an actual purchaser of one of my paintings, which is like totally awesome, I’m suuure. So glad we are friends.
Picasso (as well as many other artists) was not famous or wealthy during his lifetime. Just keep adding to the hood karma of life. TY
Love your essence brother.
Always have. Always will.
Attraction not promotion…
Yo – your words of wisdom from the heart. Per usual. Thanks for reading and taking a minute to reply. It feels great.
I loved reading this story… Especially the ending paragraphs. I watched an awesome TED talk yesterday with the same sentiment: bring your best self to everyone you meet. Be as good as you can to everyone. And one of the prayers I recite while I swim 3 times a week: may we all have enough and may we all share.
Thanks for this gracious reply Susan (also known as Honey and Sweetie, Mrs’ Blogger even). You said it maybe a little better, what I was trying to say. Bring your best self to everyone you meet. That’s big stuff.
Really enjoyed reading your post Buddy. Since I subscribed to your blog I haven’t had the chance to read any properly. Maybe I dived into this one because it’s Sunday evening in the UK and I have a bit of a lull till the new week begins. Loved the bit about the 1239 unsold paintings! Hilarious because I know exactly what you’re saying. I too have a pile but nothing like as much because my husband has bonfires every week and each time a small amount of my old unsold pictures goes on it. A while back at another bonfire someone actually rescued the paintings i’d ditched and took them home. I was embarrassed because I thought they were awful. But anyway, the point is that probably the paintings weren’t awful like I thought rather they just hadn’t reached the right audience and I hadn’t tried hard enough to find it. I guess it’s the same with yours.
For the coment from the UK:
Oh please ask your husband to stop burning…if you must, donate them. Your perception of “the right audience” was right on point.
Do what u love. No amount of money can buy joy or sense of accomplishment.
Be sure you sign those works of art, you never know….
Good one Christine. I have written to Marie to encourage her to check out your thoughts. And as usual, I really appreciate you taking the time to comment – twice! Yeah, me and Picasso, almost in the same boat. But I dig your thinking, and hopefully the post lent itself toward that end, as you put it, karma – we bring our best selves, try to add something, and hopefully the planet’s better off.
Thank you so much for this reply Christine. It has really made me think in a different way.
Thank you so much for replying Marie. I couldn’t quite tell if you were taking – I believe they say over there – the micky on me. Kidding about the bonfires or serious. You will see from another comment that the idea of your paintings being burned, even one, is horrid, and Christine is right – so much better that they become give-aways to people and places where they would be loved. I’m the proud owner of one of your paintings, and it is right here on the wall where I write these Blog posts. I feel like lowering the prices to $25 is pretty much giving them away, but I may go on a wholesale donation trip soon. It’s not a bad idea. Thanks again.
That’s a great idea about the road trip Buddy! I hope you didn’t think I meant for you to do the same as me? If so then no that’s just what I do with my old paintings. What I meant was maybe we need to think more deeply about where we want them to end up and who would appreciate the subject we have painted most instead of letting them pile up. Through yours and Christine’s replies I am already thinking along those lines and I thank you both for that.
Well it works two ways, Marie – and it was my dream this Blog would evolve into a powerful space of give and take – and this whole comment thread has given me some ideas as well. Including flat out donating lots of my art.
Yes me too Buddy! I was thinking of places where they could do with some art on their walls like old folks homes. I’m sure more are going to come to mind when I really sit down and think about it.
Your story is well written because I read it in whole without falling asleep. I really did enjoy it but was even more gratifying was trying to recall the trip we took together to strawberry fields festival. Who was with us and who did we pick up hitchiking? Please try to recall this adventure.
Charlie, thank you for taking the time yo leave a comment and the kind words regarding the stay-awake writing. Way appreciated. So, after a little research, regarding your question, I believe that in addition to you and I, two of my friends/roommates from Salem State College – Billy MacDonald (he confirmed today) and David Parr – crossed the border with us. I want to think that Eddie Kahrman was the other person, but it is possible it was one or two people I knew from Cape Cod Community College, guys named Bob and Doug. Best I’ve got with the brain cells left.