no brakes

Oh, sort of moaner, on the edge of moaning, but more than enough in the moment consciousness of my blessings, even being here to note the things which are less than splendid in my life. What a gift, Pema would say. Wow – the big wide-open chance for wisdom mind. Man, I’m loopy this morning. Oh, how the sun downs the last two nights have blessed my soul, and here’s a thought, it might make a whole bunch of sense to bring myself to the Moonlight bench and a D Street railing every single night, beginning two nights ago and forward with any day I’m given. I’m flush with gas money, even a brand new offer of funding and a wicked big check. And when I’m there, I’m not here – duh. I do need to refrain from massive chocolate intake, like last night – my bad – otherwise, are you kidding me? Bumming by the ocean, glad tidings for my fellow lookers and surf cats. Because I don’t know if I’ll have the same opportunity a month from now. I just don’t, and it’s entirely possible

I won’t. So, Brah, hie thee to the beachside every night. So, maybe I’ll drop out eight or nine words from the last page for the Blog. I do feel that at some hour today I could sit at the keyboard and just rave on. But, I’d worry about the semblance or interpretation of whining and moaning and, honestly, I don’t know if I’m a good enough writer today to write it so that (interpretation) is not an option – seeing it that way. But, who knows? I guess when I show up to the keyboard I’ll find out. That saying – I write so I can see what I’m thinking – I guess the thing with the ants is take it as it comes – now this – and stop swearing and any sorry-ness for myself – keep aiming toward, “What a present” – and I’ll say, I see you ants and I am sorry and then send as many as I can to their heaven so I can feel okay putting my (bare) feet on the floor. Like I had the thought while walking –

signed up to the boot camp, so cool, with my birth certificate chuckling, and maybe all of what feels hard are simply chuckles from the Universe – “Boy, do we have a live one here” – and perhaps it goes without saying, “How’d this guy get so lucky?” Far out, easy-going, channeling, joy job. Fucking boogie boarding. Dig that older guy flying over the water, Holmes, and my cool car, and some wondrous walking, and, oh, so much abundance and a few people who genuinely dig me, and now, geez, the oncoming for a brand new adventure – look how many (adventures) this kid gets – and three days away from another Keto-breaking celebration, you deserve it, kid, wildly joyous meal, at Hodad’s. So much. So unendingly blessed. And, Pema’s telling me, blessed some more with the unknown and open to being scared, or furious, or something else. Big mind. Here right now. Nowhere’s else to be, Brah. And I thought the post would be eight or nine words.