ride my see saw

09/07/2021 0 By BuddyCushman

It’s Tuesday afternoon and a while ago I introduced myself to a guy I’ve spoken with a few times now. He’s waiting on a license to operate a concession at Moonlight Beach and he rents boogie boards and ocean devices and sells t-shirts and accessories and all that touristy stuff and we’ve spoken a few times, and today I said what’s your first name and he said Justin and I told him mine was Buddy and we shook and I went up to sit on one of the sacred benches overlooking the ocean and let my bathing suit dry out, then put the board and towel and t-shirt back in the Camry, parked out on the street, and went for a further-drying walk. And on the way back I told myself to please remember that cat’s name, Justin, and I thought of the Moddy Blues because I’m pretty sure there was a guy named Justin in that group.

So, Tuesday afternoon and Justin and The Moody Blues and why wouldn’t I think of all that. The owner of the home in which I rent a room for crazy money and get my own bathroom sometimes and use of the kitchen when I sneak in and out like a mischievous cat, she’s my landlady you might say and she is throwing a birthday party for herself tomorrow night. An annual tradition I understand, and she has warned me there will be some 50 people in attendance and she has warned me the partying will carry on until 11 or so, and I have said I hope everyone has a great time and it’s wonderful so many people are coming to your party – some from Brazil and some from Mexico by the way – and the six people living here now (normally two) who have never used an alias of Milky Dent all know I’m not coming or maybe I’ll come for a few minutes, which I’ve said I will so as not to be entirely anti-social, and I don’t think they give a rat’s ass in hell that I don’t drink and do drugs anymore than I don’t give a rat’s ass in hell if they do, or smoke banana peels or shoot up green tea mixed with belladonna. But the pre-party organizing and festivities have me acting like the good kid we heard about in the old days – not seen and not heard.

Oh, warning me that the party is going to go on all the way until 11 is akin to telling me everyone’s going to get really crazy and eat three M & M’s each, maybe even four, you believe it!! In other words – rookies.

I saw and introduced myself to Justin up from the ocean’s edge, and I’d been out in the water quite a while, sunny and warm today like it hasn’t been so much lately, and the big waves of the weekend lingered and I caught some massively giddy-up rides, and had my cute and slightly withered butt kicked dramatically about three times also. And while I was up near the outdoor showers wiping sand off my feet some guy came by on a bike and asked if I had good rides and I said yeah and then he told me why I was doing things improperly, lack of righteous equipment he explained – and he knew a bunch of people who had broken their necks doing what I’d just been doing. So I figured I would tell him that I knew a bunch of people who had been struck by lightning and electrocuted doing what he was doing – riding a bike. But quite recently I have taken a heavy vow of 100% honesty so I said thanks for sharing and went back to the wet sand between my toes.

And I’d been on a long sweaty walk before my boogie boarding fantasia and while on it I thought about big loneliness, which I feel, and I thought about how many parking spaces there were everywhere the day after Labor Day – so great. And the fact is I’m more unhappy living in my expensive room than I am happy, even when I’m full-on a warrior for the middle way. And I am beyond amazed that I am nearly a certified beach bum at age 72.5, meaning I live in a beach-side town and do ocean things and bow daily to the never-ending-ness of all the beauty and majesty, and Justin told me there’d be days like today all the way through October and the water would stay mostly warm, and then I drove home to my room and people were in the meow kitchen making stuff for tomorrow and I hung my towel and suit out to dry in the Encinitas sunshine and came to the keyboard.

And of course the song “Ride My See Saw” had come into my mind earlier. Why not. My life has that see saw up and down-ness to it now, which my warrior mind controls a lot of but not entirely – not yet. And the Moody Blues sang it.