Seeing, Believing

Late afternoon, empty mind, dust in the nose and down the lungs, serious Spenser room diving in – him the “Star”, me his “employee” – now late and nothing here (Couchsurfing) yet and the promise, the vow, of M-F posts will be kept, and I was thinking of Dr. Wayne Dyer, who’s cassette tapes I began listening to way back in the early 1990’s when I was living in Lowell and running a kid mental health residential program in Quincy, and if you know eastern Massachusetts that means a direct pass through downtown Boston, every day twice a day, meaning there was a lot of time to listen to cassette tapes, and there was a company called Nightengale Conant which produced such things on mass and I was trying to be better and do better and think better and live better and I was a daily devotee of 16 sides of good ideas in these slick rather large plastic cases, and Dr. Dyer had a couple I was fairly bonkers for and I was thinking half an hour ago, wrapping up in the kid’s room, that I was in a semi-hallucinatory state and was probably seeing stuff, and I’m believing some things these days, and I remembered Dr. Dyer used to turn that “seeing’s believing” thing around and would always say “believing’s seeing”, him explaining on tape that if you believed enough and long enough and strong enough and purely enough in something – yeah, something dreamy – that eventually you’d see it. Like a dream come true.

And I have about four of those large plastic cases from back then I’ve unearthed with all this last month’s moving process, and they are going on a”free” table I plan to put out front Saturday,and in the trunk of the Camry is a Les Brown case (“Any day I wake up and there ain’t a white chalk outline around my body I know is going to be a great day.”) and I’m going to keep hanging on to that 30-something year gift from the mystic, I dig Les, and lately I’ve been doing a whole lot of the believing thing.

And waiting on the seeing.