through another dawn

I’m not cleansed enough yet to be hip about today. It’s Thursday. I’m still here this morning, before and through the dawn. It’s the one-year anniversary of Susan asking me for a divorce. Dancing Susan. I wonder if it has been the saddest day of my life – 4/14/21? Of more than 26,000 days? I have a calculator.

I’ve been anticipating it, I guess aware the anniversary was coming. Tomorrow is another anniversary, if I get there. And I retired this week. Big week.

And it’s just a Thursday. How will I live this day – and rejoice in it – feels like the one question.