to this

Reading in “Tripmaster Monkey” (Maxine Hong Kingston) earlier this morning I came upon this quote from the Beat poet Lew Welch – “So, it has come to this.” With the suggestion it makes sense to say that every once in a while.

It’s so Zen. It speaks so wildly to me today. So in the now. The right here now. The word “this”. The word “it”. Especially the word “So”. It’s wicked far out – for me. “So” being the stop doing and right here be. Just be. So – brake from the rat race, kid. Break from the what am I suppose to do now? Break from the beating oneself up. Or others. From judging, editing, whining, notating, demonstrating, cooking. So – big breath, notice, notice, notice. Right here. Just this. Oh, I dig it. I dig so.

“This” – it’s just this. This this. How long have I heard it, seen it, read it? Be here now. That’s the this.

And then there’s the “it”. So, it – an immediate answer to “Where you at?” “How you doing?” “How goes it?” That’s the it, the one and only right here, stop, hey what’s that sound, it.

So Zen. This week I’ve had evening conversations with Gavin in Oakland and Kate in Milwaukie and during both I’ve noticed that, regarding my own “So, it has come to this”, yes, in fact, I’m closer to that attention to my own moments than I’ve ever before been in my life. I find myself noticing right now so much more. That’s good, I said. It’s good, I said.

Pretty cool sentence – So, it has come to this.