enthusiasms

Last Friday morning I was sitting on my meditation cushion when this thought came to me – Am I being too pushy? Not entirely a surprise considering: 1) An agency I’d applied to while still in San Diego for a position I’d be perfect for and then hand-delivered a new cover letter and resume and references to the office here; 2) a posting for a room I’d written a letter explaining why I’d be a great candidate/tenant and here’s a bunch of relevant reasons why; a mother of a Down syndrome young woman who’d explained a female staff was necessary, otherwise I’d be fabulous, and to whom I wrote back and said I’d be available for any position/shift if a male would work as well; and the young Kathleen Hanna fan I’d met on the Thursday night sidewalk and agreed to have a coffee — not one of these people or places has returned my reaching out. Yeah, I never heard from Jayne again.

So there on the cushion in the middle-of-the-night room comes this – Am I being too pushy?

I’m happy to report that a minute or two later this considered answer arrived – “Nah.” No, the fact is I am and have been enthusiastic, joyful, generous, and encouraging in all of these communications, which is all I can do on this – my – side of the street. I cannot be responsible for what happens over there.

A good question I learned from Ann is, “What’s my part?” My high school friend Donnie Sisson would say, “All you can do is all you can do.” Working with kids at Walden House in San Francisco I came to hold and cherish one of their slogans – “Own your own.” All I can do is just be me, and keep on keepin’ on. Kind and generous. With, really, not a smidge of pushy in sight.