dear cow in the window

Stuff:

Two of my paintings on the walls here in my room on B Street are “Cat in the Window” and “Blue Cow”. Both smaller oils, both faves. Earlier, drinking coffee, a thought popped into my mind – when out walking this morning, what if I see a cow in the window? I glance up, paying attention, and see a cow in someone’s window. While I’m attracted to that thinking, I have to wonder if thinking like that has me, A) Certifiable; B) Giddy; C) Filled with awe; D) Grateful; E) All of the above. Like the song says, “C’est la vie say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell.”

Also strolling into my mind this morning, instigated by something I read, was the Moody Blues song “Dear Diary”, from 1969. But it wasn’t the “Diary” part of it which had me opening Amazon Music and listening. It was the “Dear”. What a word. The way I saw the word “Dear” being used in that reading this morning – it made me happy. Dear gift. Dear cow.

Leaving the open mic in Ocean Beach last night, giving this very cool musician a ride back to his house, I rolled right through a red light. He started, on approach, saying “Red light, red light!!”, and yet, my concern was the dip in the road I knew was waiting on the other side of Sunset Cliffs, thereby making sure by driving slowly I was being responsible to the ongoing happiness of my car – Dear Camry. Fortunately the car approaching on Zach’s side of the street missed us, and I pretty much responded by apologizing, and also laughing a little bit. Chuckling more like it. I’ve remembered it a couple of times since then, later last night and this morning sitting in meditation. I chuckled both those times too. I guess if you’re going to run a red light and not be hit by an approaching car and not have a cop waiting and have insurance go up the next five years, chuckling makes some sense.

The writer John Tarrant says, “Usually people think of a creative leap as something like one, two, three, four….six. With Koans, a creative leap is more like one, two, three, four….rhinoceros.” I dig that. Like looking up from the sidewalk and seeing a cow in someone’s second-floor window. Like giggling regarding a scary misdemeanor. Like loving the word “Dear”, even it’s part in a “Dear John” letter.

And like this – Last night, in the open mic lottery determining if you get a chance to perform, and your order of performance in the evening, I was selected number 20 out of 21 openings. I left my room and got in the Camry at 4:55 to pick up Zach and get to the coffee shop to get our names in the hat. I was called up to the microphone at 9:10. The first thing I said was, “I was 25 when I walked in here tonight.” And someone called out, “And now you’re ageless.”

You never can tell.