little wednesday

Yesterday I celebrated 42 years of one day at a time without one drink or drug. Also yesterday was my last day of work – for now, and who knows how long. A barista at Starbuck’s asked about my day and I said it was my last day of work, and she looked at me with big eyes and asked, “Forever?” As usual, I answered, “I don’t know.” As I believe I’ve made clear here in couch surfing, every subject for which I have no clue at all is every subject.

Now, from this morning forward, I have four days to complete packing, which likely will take two hours total, before heading north Sunday. On a walk to her new place later yesterday afternoon, I said to Ann, “I feel lost.” I thought I’d have some sense of completion finishing up with employment, but it was just another layer of feeling lost.

There are many, many people in the world who are suffering so badly, and I’m not one of them. I am just a little lost this Wednesday.